We don’t think of light as gendered, but boy (see what I did there), do we gender it.

Women should have every crease filled. (We call it “beauty light.”) Men are allowed rough texture and deep shadows (where our feelings live). There are obvious exceptions… but they’re exceptions. Every photographer I learned from set it up this way.

When I was lighting my first portraits, I panicked. I went “beauty” for everyone. It required no shaping (which scared the shit out of me) so I could work on expressions.

That worked well for most of my friends, but not C. When one of my cheap flashes inevitably failed, half their face went into shadow. Drama. Till then, they’d been posing as a favor, but when THAT one came up, C came alive. “Why don’t I look like THAT?”

I knew the question was profound then. I didn’t realize I’d be answering it the rest of my life.

Light’s not the problem. You don’t blame the wood for a lopsided bench. That day I learned to ask who my subject IS.

It’s one reason I set up a planning session. If I assume your gender wrong, we’ll never make images that satisfy you. That empower you. That help you feel seen.

I won’t speak for Marcus. I think the picture we made this spring says it all.